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Twenty Questions No Trump Apologist Can Ever Seem To Answer

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#1: If there is no Russian collusion, why is it all the scandals tie back to Russia? You’d think just once we’d track down a lead and have it come from a French politician or a Japanese agent. But no, every time we shake a Republican, three Russians fall out.

#2: If Trump is innocent, why doesn’t he release his tax returns? He could have the bragging rights forever for such a simple thing, and it’s something any president does anyway.

#3: If anyone in this is innocent, why is it that it takes a Senate subcommittee subpoena and a nuclear threat behind it to get to see a few pieces of paperwork?

#4: If Trump is such a great politician, why does he go out of his way to make enemies he doesn’t have to make? For instance, the G-7: Trump could have diplomatically and gradually backed out of the Paris Agreement without alienating all of Europe. Or take NAFTA; all that badmouthing of Canada and Mexico has accomplished what, exactly?

#5: If Trump had no help from the Russians, how did a foul-mouthed, bigoted, bumbling, stupid clod like him win an election?

#6: If there’s no problems in the Trump administration, why does its Press Secretary hide in the bushes?

#7: If Trump is such a great business boss, why does he have to keep hiring and firing people?

#8: If there’s a massive conspiracy against Trump, where does it even come from? Where were the conspiracies against Obama, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, Carter?

#9: If Trump isn’t going to be impeached, why does he keep repeating every single mistake Nixon made?

#10: If there’s nothing to the Russian collusion investigations, why did Michael Flynn, Jared Kushner, Carter Page, Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, and Jeff Sessions all lie about meeting with Russians previously?

#11: If Trump isn’t being corrupted by foreign money, since when is the US so gung-ho about Turkey, Saudi Arabia, China, or the Philippines?

#12: If Trump is such a good leader, why does he have to hire his family?

#13: If Trump is so innocent, then why did he tweet threats to Sally Yates and James Comey right before they were going to testify in front of the Senate?

#14: If Trump has any business being president, why has he never once said words to the effect of “I’m very happy today to be president”? Even if it’s a stressful job, would it kill him to fake a smile one morning to show the country they’re in the hands of a confident leader?

#15: If Trump has the first clue what he’s doing, why did the court system block his travel ban twice and he never saw that coming?

#16: If the Trump Team of Kremlin Gremlins is so innocent, then why do they go to such extreme, superhuman lengths to make themselves appear as guilty as they possibly can? Just once, you’d think one member of Trump’s inner circle would get investigated and not immediately respond with a pratfall that reveals three other things to investigate.

#17: If there’s nothing to Russiagate, why did Michael Flynn immediately ask for immunity? If he has nothing more to testify about, then he has nothing to bargain with.

#18: If Trump is what the Republican party needs, why haven’t they gotten a single stick of legislation done?

#19: Why did Trump do this?

#20: Where the hell is that WALL we were promised?

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